Mom Fail

Have you ever had one of those moments you felt like you just completely failed as a mom? I had one of those moments on Halloween.

I remember when I was younger, long before kids, I always told myself that I was going to be the “hip” mom. I was never going to be out of style, I was always going to up with the times and know all the slang, listen to the cool music etc. I’m now 31, have two kids and reality has hit me. A couple years ago I came to terms with that fact that I may not listen to the “cool” music as much anymore and I have NO CLUE when it comes to the lingo the kids use these days lol. The fact that I used “lingo” instead of “slang” should tell you something in itself. BUT I have been determined to make everything an “experience” for my girls, for me it’s about building memories. This brings me to my story…

A couple of weeks leading up to Halloween, Hailey’s school put out sign-up sheets for volunteers for the parade. With a couple of weeks notice it was no problem for me to make arrangements to leave work and attend. I was super excited too because I missed her last field trip. The Thursday or Friday before Halloween we got emails sent out confirming volunteering for the parade, it gave us directions and times for the day, and then it mentioned where to park and how they were excited to see our trunks decorated. Now I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, so when they mentioned trunks I had no clue what they were talking about. So I emailed back, “can you elaborate on the trunk part”. The response made it clear we were going to be decorating our trunks and that the parade was for the kids to “trick-or-treat” to each car wearing their costumes. They said decorations didn’t need to be anything big, and nothing scary. Cool, got it. That weekend I went to Target and found some string lights and a bat garland, figured I’d bring some pumpkins with me and i’d be all set.

The morning of the parade I was running late so my husband dropped the girls off. When I headed to Hailey’s school later I realized I forgot the pumpkins too, but figured it was no big deal, they said nothing big. Right? Wrong. I was SO wrong. I pulled up and suddenly realized I failed. I failed big! These moms went ALL out!! I had no idea this was a real thing! I almost turned around and went back to work. I contemplated emailing and saying “i’m sorry something came up and I couldn’t make it”. And I would have had no shame in doing that, except Hailey was so excited that I was coming to her school that morning and I really didn’t want to let her down.

Never have I ever been so embarrassed. I popped open my trunk, hung my sad little set of lights and garland and stood proud in my witch hat. When the kiddos came out they were so excited about the cars and my little munchkin was just so happy to see me, her mom. Definitely made the fail not feel as bad. Let me tell you though, this well NEVER happen again. Challenge accepted. Next year I plan to be the best trunk around lol. And I know sometimes people can over exaggerate so let me show you. 🙂

Here is my car…

698EF09C-9B78-45EC-B15D-E5C60DC98A37

Here are the cool moms….

DD55E94F-D273-4835-86D8-8FA73627152408FE3F6D-83F4-4098-8667-DD3C15FE192678F3D296-3509-4360-BD84-F0CD4766FF33

Yeah they were pretty awesome. Never again. Lesson learned. Haha! Any other moms out there feel my pain?

Advertisements

Mom Guilt

Everyone gets this right? It can’t be just me. When I was pregnant with Hailey, my first, I had this idea, this vision of what type of mom I was going to be. I was going to be the working mom, perfectly organized, life balanced, do all these fun activities with her, take her everywhere, do ALL the things, give her everything that she could possibly need. I was going to be the cool mom, the creative mom, the mom who was never stressed because life was great, why would I be stressed?

Let’s go back, when I found out I was pregnant with Hailey, my husband just got back from a 6 month deployment (yup, she was a deployment baby), we lived on the complete opposite side of the country of any of our family, I was working full-time and coaching part-time, and my husband was about to leave again on another deployment. The emotions were everywhere; excited, nervous, scared, determined… I’m a planner so by the next hour I’m pretty sure I had everything planned out and how we were going to do this. The original plan: save up for 8 weeks maternity leave (I did not get paid leave) go back to my normal work schedule, still coach the same hours, find an affordable daycare close to home. Simple right? I quickly discovered there was no such thing as affordable daycare except the on-base centers, which had a wait list of 18 months. So basically I had to put my name on the list before she was even a thought in my mind. But we found a place, a fantastic person who does it out of her home, not near our home, but go whatever distance you need to for good care right? The first day I dropped off Hailey I held myself together. Well, I held myself together until I got out of the driveway, then I bawled. I called my husband, feeling so terrible, feeling like I abandoned my daughter, thinking she is probably wondering why her mother just left her with a complete stranger. Ugh! the worse feeling ever! Day 2, same thing, I made it to the end of the street though. Each day it got a little better, but the guilt never left. I kept feeling like I was missing out on something. My hours for work were crazy, some nights not getting done until 7pm. Not what I envisioned at all for her, for my relationship with her, for our family. It was time to re-evaluate.

4 months back at work and we made the decision for me to stay at home. My first time since I was 16 to not be working, it was going to be great! Well that’s what I thought. Now here is where everyone is different, so no one take offense to this, please. Being a stay-at-home mom IS work, it is amazing, you get to be completely be involved with every aspect of your childs life, you don’t miss anything. But, it was not for me. Here comes guilt part 2. First I felt guilty for going back to work and being away from my daughter, now I felt guilty because I wanted to go back to work. I loved the time I had at home with my girl, it was great! However, I needed time away too. I needed to have adult interaction again, I needed to be in the workforce again. Again, everyone is different, everyone’s needs are different. Don’t shame someone because what they want is different than you. Moms shouldn’t feel guilty because they want to work. Moms shouldn’t feel guilty because they want to stay at home. Don’t judge others. You have no idea what their story is. Focus on your own story. Basically mind your own damn business lol. I am sharing my experience to hopefully let other moms know that guilt is normal, we all feel guilty in various ways and feeling guilty just means we care!

 

Here we are present day, i’m back at work-a different role that gives me amazing balance, and now 2 kiddos. I STILL feel guilty! I feel guilty i’m not home with them more, I feel guilty that we don’t get out as much, I feel guilty that we don’t do all the “fun” things like amusement parks or the beach every weekend. What i’ve come to realize though is that life is not perfect, it’s not always going to go according to plan and we cannot control everything. What we can control is the love we have for our children, the encouragement we give them, the energy that we show them, patience that we have with them (one I am constantly reminding myself). We can make the best out of every moment, it’s our choice! I can choose to feel guilty about what I can’t do or don’t have the hours in the day to do, or I can choose to make the best out of the time I have with them, have tickle fights, read them books, play PJ Masks, have dance parties! Choose to make the best out of every situation, every moment, they may be little but they do take notice, we do rub off on them and who we are, how we are, directly effects who they will become and their outlook on life. Overall moral of the story, yes guilt is normal, but don’t let it drag you down or the relationship you have with your little because in the end you control that, no one else.

-Brit

 

I don’t know how she does it.

Have y’all see the movie “I don’t know how she does it”? Starring Sarah Jessica Parker? Ok well if you haven’t, you need to. I feel like this is the story of my life and probably every other mom out there. Hilarious movie about juggling work with mommy-hood and everything else in life. Cracks me up! But no joke, this was my life this week. One scene from the movie her and her husband are just laying down to bed, within seconds her husband is asleep and she starts “making her list”, you know, the one you make in your head of all the things you need to do, get done, or have to have ready for tomorrow. For example here was mine for last week:

-pack sheets and blanket for pre-school drop off.

-don’t forget the bag of school supplies for Hailey, oh and still need a box of tissues and a magic eraser.

-pack Hailey’s lunch, figure out the girls outfits-what’s the weather going to be like?

-don’t forget Hailey’s jiu-jitsu uniform and extra clothes for underneath.

-pack snacks for both girls, Peyton is a munch mouth and you know she’ll “starve” if you don’t bring anything with you.

-don’t forget you have a chiropractic appointment tomorrow that was pushed back in time.

-suit shopping for Ryan after the chiropractic appointment.

-1/2 iron man for Ryan this week, start planning now for what to bring.

Do you have one of these? I do this every night and this list was just for Monday night! Also, side note, does everyone else’s husband also fall asleep in seconds?? What’s up with that?!

So with the crazy busy week, I actually managed great! I don’t know how I did it, but I’m not gonna lie, I rocked it! At least until Saturday lol. Saturday my husband Ryan, did a 1/2 iron man. He’s never done one before, never even done a triathlon before, but decided this was what he wanted, so he did. And he did great! Now if you haven’t been to “watch” one before, just a heads up there really isn’t anything to see except their transitions from swim to bike, bike to run, and finish. His race started at 7am and typically these things last a minimum of 5hrs. So instead of dragging the girls out at 7am, I decided to wait until he was transitioning from bike to run, putting us there some time around 10:00. So of course I fell asleep before I could get my alarm set, happens usually 50% of the time. Luckily I woke up just before 7, which was still plenty of time since he wouldn’t be transitioning until about 11am. My goal was to be there by 10, that way I wouldn’t be rushed with parking and getting the girls situated. Plenty of time, I just had to make sure I left the house by 9. Ryan also texted me to bring bug spray, said they were horrific there. The girls didn’t wake up until 8am which worked out perfectly! I was able to get showered, ready, make breakfast and pack everything we needed that day. Long story short here, we didn’t get out the door until after 9, we had to stop by the store for bug spray since we didn’t have any and that took some time. I was so frantic by the time we arrived since we were running so far behind, worried we were going to miss his transition. Already having thoughts on how I was the worst wife ever.

We had a friend there cheering Ryan on from the beginning of the day, we also think of him as the girls uncle. Located him, got settled with the stroller, gave Peyton some snacks and right about then Hailey says she has to go potty. Seriously?? Me:  Right now? You have to go right now?? Can you hold it for just a couple of minutes sweetie? Hailey: Nooo. She continues: Mommy I have to go, I have to go potty! Me: Ok, ok. Looking around trying to figure out what to do. The port-a-potties are all the way on the other side of the event, and I know as soon as we leave he’ll ride up and we’ll miss it. Ugh! While I’m quickly trying to assess the situation she’s still repeating “I have to go potty, mommy I have to go potty!” but now in a more desperate voice. Me: Ok fine, let’s go but we have to be super quick!” I reach into my bag to grab out wipes, thinking we will just go over to the big set of bushes that are right by us. Uncle can watch Peyton and keep an eye out for Ryan, no problem. So I grab the wipes and realize they’re all wet. WTF? Why are these all wet? What spilled? My travel mug, filled with 10oz of delicious-ness coffee, broke. So the entire cup was dumped out in my giant sized lulu bag. Seriously?? Why is this happening and now of all times?! I can’t just leave it, so I start emptying out the bad, wiping everything down with baby wipes and then I poured out the coffee. Yes, I actually took my bag and poured out the coffee. While all of this is happening Hailey is walking hug circles around us because she has to go so bad. So I grab her, take her in the bushes and let her pee. And boy did she have to go, poor thing. As I wiping her up, mind you I took everything off from the waste down to avoid an accident, uncle yells: Brit, he’s comin! Oh crap! So I grab Hailey, buck-ass naked from the waste down, run out, set her down behind the stroller just in time to see him ride in. It’s one of those moments you really feel like you should star in a movie. It would have been hilarious to watch!

After that it was a waiting game, he still had to run a 1/2 marathon. What’d we do to kill time? I worked out. 🙂 I wasn’t able to do it before we left so I figured why not? You don’t need a bunch of equipment to get a good workout in. Here’s what I did:

5 rounds:

20 air squats

20 sit-ups

20 jump lunges

20 push-ups

I’m pretty sure all the spectators thought I was crazy. But that’s okay, I needed to get my workout in and I wasn’t going to have time later. I have the video up on instagram if you wanna check it out. Peyton really wasn’t havin it either so she joined in on some of the movements and fun. Doing this definitely helped me keep my sanity. Also, how could I not be motivated by all of stud athletes around? The other thing that made my life easier and kept my sanity was out our stroller. Weird I know, how can a stroller help so much? Well it’s the best stroller out there. However I did forget the extra seat, BUT it’s still worked just like a charm. Our stroller is a double,

Our phil&ted

but not a side by side double. It’s a phil&ted putting the second seat behind and underneath the front seat. Seriously awesome. The top seat lays down as well, so the girls were able to lay down and take a nap. Or in our case, Peyton was able to crawl all over Hailey while she tried to nap. It’s kind of like a jogger too, feels like it, able to go through the grass and whatever else with ease. I couldn’t imagine having to handle that day without something to lug everything and everyone around in!

So here we are, it’s Sunday night and we made it. Another week, another weekend gone too fast, gearing up for the week ahead! I hope all of you have a wonderful week! May you have all the coffee and do all the things!

My Transformation Journey

My transformation is still a work in progress. Yes I may be back to my “pre-baby” weight, but I am no where near where I want to be. HOWEVER, I look back at where I started and I am damn proud of what I have accomplished so far. It definitely wasn’t easy, the second baby was a whole new experience compared to the first one. And let’s be real, post-partum depression is legit! I don’t know if it’s just the hormones getting re-adjusted or what, but I suffered badly from this. There were days I would just cry for no reason. I was so down about the way I looked, I didn’t even want to look in the mirror. I gained more weight in my second pregnancy, which most people say is normal so I already expected that and it wasn’t that much difference, less than 10lbs, but it felt like 20. My skin stretched more, the stretch marks grew, new ones formed… my self-esteem was beyond down. It was no where to be found.

I had started to do my own searches for other moms in similar situations, but just didn’t find anything that resonated with me. Everyone talked about how you need to be proud of your scars, they’re not scars they’re beauty marks, or that your stretch marks are your tiger stripes! They were all so confident in their new bodies and happy with their changes. I just didn’t understand, all I could see was the negative. I felt even more selfish when I started to think of the blessing I had laying in front of me, a beautiful healthy baby girl. I know there are some who never get the opportunity that I had, that would kill for my “tiger stripes” to have what I have. I think that was the turning point for me, when I really stopped and thought about how grateful I am, for the blessing I was given. Then I decided I needed to change. Wallowing in my tears was doing me no good, having zero plan was doing me no good, thinking I could just give mediocre effort and get amazing results, was doing me no good.

About that time I saw a post for the #250kchallenge by Bodybuilding.com and I figured why the heck not? I was already putting in some effort, but the holidays set me back, so why not start the new year off with a challenge. I am a competitive person, I like a challenge plus it would help hold me accountable since I would be posting my progress photos for all to see. You didn’t have to post your pics to your social media accounts, but I figured if I was going to go all in I needed to post to my instagram for accountability. So it began, working out 5-6 days/week, mostly crossfit style workouts, and counting macros.

Macro counting was all very new to me, very foreign. When I had prepped for a bikini competition after Hailey was born, I did zone. Macros initially felt like it was going to be a ton of work, counting everything seemed daunting. BUT I found the myfitnesspal app by Under Armour, the free version and it made it a 100x easier. Once you enter your food it saves it for future entry. It has a barcode reader so any food with a barcode can be scanned in and broken down by macros. Honestly a lifesaver, if I didn’t have the app I probably would never had done “macro counting”. Not only did I get the app, but then did tons and tons of research on what “macro counting” is, studied different styles to figure out what would work best for me. That part really is trial and error, I can definitely go into more detail on this, it just needs it’s own post. (i’ll add this to our nutrition page soon!)

IMG_0266

It’s now officially been a year! I’ve had my ups and downs emotionally, I think that’s pretty normal as a mom 🙂 My nutrition wasn’t perfect, I had cheat meals, cheat days and cheat weeks lol. I had to constantly remind myself  that progress takes time. I didn’t want to “transform” for a quick result, I wanted long-term results. I wanted a lifestyle change.  quick diets, weight-loss tricks, losing mass amounts in a short period of time is only setting yourself up for failure. Those fads are not realistic for long-term results. I wanted to find something that worked for me, to find balance in this circus of a life, and do something that I knew I could maintain for a long period of time, hence the lifestyle change. Think, it’s a marathon of a race, not a sprint.

If you want more details on what I did or if you have questions , please feel free to reach out! We want to help! That’s why we’re doing this blog, to help other momma’s!

Sunday Highlights

The lifestyle section on our blog is separated out between Christy and myself, we figured this is where you will get to know us best. This is the section where we get real, open up about our lives, share our mom stories and how we balance our crazy busy lives, or what I like to say is our circus of a life.

Sunday nights for me is when I go over the highlight real. I reflect back on the week, look at the gazillion photos I probably have on my phone of the kiddos, it’s when I sit back and thank my lucky stars for the circus of a life that I have. A typical day for us is an early morning wake-up for me (5am) to workout, shower and get ready for work, wake the girls and get them dressed, head downstairs for breakfast, breakfast for all, depending on the day (the hubby and I alternate) I do two drop-offs, Hailey is in pre-school and Peyton is at daycare, head to work, leave at 4, meet the hubby and kids at Hailey’s Jiu-jitsu lesson, head to the gym for a possible second session, home to start dinner, bath girls, then eat dinner, and head to bed. I think i’m tired just saying it lol. We are a family with no set schedule, it’s constantly changing depending on work, my house is a disaster, i’ve given up on cleaning during the week, laundry is hardly ever folded, and I am very very dependent on coffee to keep me going. But, we make it work. Our nights often look like this at the end of the day, and that makes it all worth it. 🙂

IMG_0198

When you first find out you’re having a baby everyone tells you how hard it is, but also how amazing it is. I’m pretty sure everyone agrees it’ll be hard, and everyone agrees that of course i’ll love them, they’re MY kid. No one explains it well enough though, you don’t really know or understand until they arrive, then it’s game over. They’re the best, most exhausting, joyful, patience testing, heart warming, crazy, joyous little human beings. So if you have a baby on the way or already have little munchkins running around, enjoy every single moment!

-Brit